The font used in part of this post is called ‘bleeding cowboys’.
I think we are all ‘bleeding cowboys/girls’ and we all ‘bleed’ in different ways.
For over three weeks my body has been busy recovering from a twisted ankle.
It is something I can talk about with people and people express compassion.
For most of my life anxiety and depression has been more or less of an undercurrent and sometimes an ‘overcurrent’.
Not so easy to talk about and it seemed to make some people uncomfortable.
It was so soothing to receive an email which expressed understanding and compassion for both, the physical and emotional hurt, it brought tears to my eyes.
It seems to be an ‘art’ to respond to someone so they really feel heard and understood.
Wouldn’t it be nice if there were more people like that.
I would love to be able to give people that gift of understanding, sometimes I think I do.
A lot of times my ‘undercurrents’ get activated by their pain and I am barely able to respond at all.
Learning to hear myself with compassion over the last few years and to be the understanding parent to my wounded little one has helped me to understand others more as well. I still don’t find it easy to ‘be’ with my own ‘bleeding’, emotional pain.
Without Anxiety About Imperfection a talk by Tara Brach
Whenever I need help with being more understanding and compassionate with myself I find Tara’s talk very soothing and uplifting.
Here is something from the talk above which I paraphrased:
‘When I have the awareness that I have an inner conflict/ an old wound and remember to be compassionate with myself then I can remember that I am more than the one experiencing the anxiety/hurt but I am the awareness/ presence/mystery.
A shift of identity happens. We may experience the waves on the top of the ocean and also remember that we are the calmness in the depth of the ocean.’
I appreciate knowing all this and I need to remember to be patient with myself, compassionate, when I don’t apply it.